Ashante Odogun-Williams

entirety

It's weird, i have actually never constructed a mini stanza blog for myself because i never thought of myself being creative.

this is a single page filled with poetry that i have written at certain, uncertain points in my life.

they represent love, loss, grief, contemplation, self riddle and many more confusing emotions that have all been mentally, physically and spiritually felt.

enjoy my unequally yoked mind; to be fair I'm just another obsessed poet who needs to get a real job.

I love you entirely

I love you, entirely & eternally momentarily

You know the love you feel within moments of pure adoration and inhibition

That's the love, the love without condition Not ﬁction, without criticism

Utter, unexplained recognition Recognizing the pain that you dare to abstain

The strain of your mentality, the strain of your incapacitated brain

Cruel and subdued, nervously super glued

Unhidden and sometimes anxiously & accidentally forbidden

Self expression is good for some types of depression, not to mention the consistency of unforeseen oppression

I am a human who has neglected oneself

I am a human who hasn't felt

I am a human who motivated themself

I am a human who never had a hand, a hand to have dealt

I am a human who buried emotion

I am a human who stopped involuntarily in motion

I am a human who would never dare to notion

The years of abuse, control and addiction to that imaginary potion

A Fusion of Confusion

Did it do more harm than good?

Finally releasing what was under the hood My ﬁnal mood, totally misconstrued

Unapparent to blind and unaware fools

My mind is a tool and it needed a key

To finally unlock what was restraining me

The talent, the art, the crazy artistry I

t turned into fierce & unfathomable poetry

The effects of pain & what it can do to me

Is in no comparison to what I have in store for you all to see

The last few months have been a test of faith

Now I understand why I have always been told to be patient & to wait

To take control of a situation, a thought, an action Before it's to late

To be patient is to wait

To wait is to be patient

Not even knowing that I was a patient to my own mental inﬂation

I am human and that is transparent for you to see It's funny how people misinterpret my weakness as a lack of strength in me

I remind you of my love that overﬂows in multitudes, unconditionally

But please never misinterpret; it's a fucking asset not a liability

19 year old Ziggy would say, "Don't ever forget about the damage I can do

" 26 year old Ziggy would say, "But mate, that's no longer the real you"

What the hell can I do? I am split between two

Ah I know I'll go and dump other people's bullshit and flush it right down the loo

Under my hood I faced constipation

Because I let people, a person, determine my worth and my self affirmation

I feel so emotional, so alive, so free

Thank you for unlocking what I never knew I had inside of me

worry

Why do you let worry occupy your mind when it hasn't even paid rent

Money that isn't spent is money that is saved even when lent

But yet used space becomes even more warped and even more bent

Especially when there was an invitation that was willing and subconsciously selfishly sent

I find myself consistently travelling from London to Surrey to Kent

I said bye, jumped on my bike and off, off I went

Knowing of the daunting distance, I still spent my time, which wasn't well spent

I thought to myself, how many miles have I actually covered? ... answer was, babe you borrowed

and someone else selfishly and willingly lent
I'm consistently letting people borrow my time, my time which on their behalf is well used

This is all done unknowingly, that's until my time gets thrown out like unused tissues

You see the issue? Because I didn't

Not until it was crazy late and I HAD to say bye and good ridden

The thought that you could trust so much and become temporarily blind

Actually scares me to death and the type of death that binds Binds

us through loss, hope and through worry

Nah man, nah fuck that, jog on back to London fam and put that shit in a trolley

Get yourself to a grocery store and fill it up

That's exactly what you're used to right, pouring love into something till it gets too much and erupts?

Candor, it shows you what a true being is about

A person who can be wholeheartedly truthful, not just internally but also through mouth

Through the exchange of thoughts, of words and of doubt

One day the truth as apparent as it seems now will be clearer when it honestly comes out.

adaptation

Through my metaphorical change that hasn't come with age, but through human exchange

I've learned that my apologetic nature has and hasn't done me any favours

I guess I associate sorry with an absence of worry Do I apologise too much or is it simply not enough?

Eye opening I tell ya

Not to mention the failure

Failure in positive results that many would pick apart and overly convulse

Was it feasible, mentally conceivably or was it all just incompletely trivial?

I do actually satisfy satisfactually; mentally overwhelmingly, 100% factually with a sense of dense reliability

I'm mentally aggressive but physically suppressive; sexually progressive but spiritually attentive

I'm always aware and mostly soberly apprehensive; when it comes to my self control and shitty, morally wrong defenses

I'm almost too much, tender to the touch, considerate of much, especially when it comes to people who I love

In the last weeks I've gone through withdrawal; I literally packed up every ounce of emotion and ﬁnally put it in a U-Haul

I intuitively had the sense to put an end to a game

A game that was fun but I was under tame

I know, I know it's lame but please honestly consider

With so much internal control, I actually forgot to pull the trigger

Not until my bubble got uncontrollably bigger & bigger

Until I noticed that my mentality was nothing but another statistical figure

I'm free physically but mentally I'm stuck

I guess I need to shut that shit down and put the remainder of my thoughts in a truck

It came as a shock, my trust levels that we're heightened

But in the end, it was the disappointment I felt that left me a little damaged and a lot frightened

GALLERY